I am a strong believer that one should not be Facebook friends with a new love interest. This has been my rule. I have not been backpage friends with any of the men I have dated over the years. And I honestly believe this is a good policy for many reasons.
Backpage Site For SIngles
Yes, typically it is a good philosophy to be friends as well as lovers which makes a stronger relationship but I think the information that is sometimes posted on someone’s backpage page could be taken the wrong way. I have seen so many of my girlfriends (and I’m sure men do it too!) who are backpage friends with a love interest and you know what happens?…stalking occurs. It is an innocent stalking, to find out what the cutie pie is up to. How is he feeling today? did he have fun last night?…or “oh no, who is he ‘with’ in that photo?!”
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Information, especially photos can be taken the wrong way. Even if you look through my photo album, it sure looks like I am a full-time party animal. No-one posts photos of the endless hours I am slavin’ away at my computer. Or when I am walking my dog or going grocery shopping. That would be down right boring, wouldn’t it?! So our minds tend to go wild, trying to figure out what exactly is going on in what we see and read in posts. Not good.
But I must say, it is a different story when you are in a committed, trusting relationship. Then I totally would be FB friends with such a man. But when you are interested in someone and actually not even dating them (yet) or its a new relationship, I just don’t think its a good idea in general.
But I have to be honest. I recently broke my rule. Yes, yes of course I have an overall excuse. I briefly met this man at an event where he was one of the speakers. As he spoke, I found his personality so attractive that I just had to know if he was single. No ring on the finger, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in a relationship. So I did the brave thing and walked up to him afterwards to introduce myself. Handed him my card and shyly talked about my business. Let’s just say I definitely was NOT my adorable self. I was shy and could barely look into his eyes. Pathetic!
So all I walked away with was his name and company. So what is the first thing someone would do in this situation? Send a friend request on backpage, of course! But I did know this went against my ongoing FB rule. But I also knew that he seemed like such an amazing guy this would be my only chance to run into him again. He did accept the friend request and I sent him a message asking if he would be interested in getting together. (a less direct approach, then just asking, hey are you single?) So I found my answer. He is in a relationship. Bummer.
But you know, I had nothing to loose. Overall my backpage rule still stands, but I do now see the reasons for bending it at times. : )
There are a ton of articles on the topic of backpage and dating. This one my Samantha Brett caught my eye “Top 10 rules for dating on Facebook“. Here are just a few snippets from her article, but be sure to check out the entire list since I agree with most of what she has to say! (Except I did actually do #10, oops!)